Excerpts from films I appreciate

Jack & Boss

This is what to do if your boss isn't satisfied with your work

Jack steps into the open doorway and lightly knocks against the frame. Boss looks up from his large, expensive desk.

We need to talk.

Okay. Where to begin? With your constant absenteeism? With your unpresentable appearance? I might as well tell you now -- you're going to be put up for review.
This next line *NOT* in V.O.:
I Am Joe's Complete Lack Of Surprise.

Boss sits up in his seat, becoming enraged.

Let's pretend. You're the Department of Transportation. And you knew that our company intentionally left a front seat mounting bracket that never passed collision tests? Did nothing about leather seats -- that were cured in third world countries with a chemical we know causes birth defects? Brake linings that fail after a thousand miles. Turbochargers that blow up and cut off legs at the knees. Fuel injectors that burn people alive. All of these accidents where "cause of failure" is stamped "unknown". I know where the bodies are buried. Call it job security.

Just who the fuck do you think you are?! Get out of here! You're fired!

I've got a better idea. You're going to keep me on payroll as an outside consultant. In exchange for my salary, I'll perform the task of not telling anyone what I know. I won't need to come into the office. I can do this job from home. Call it early retirement, with pension.

Boss stands, moves around his desk, glaring with rage.

Yes, I am shit and crazy, to you and this whole fucking world, but I'm your responsibility.

Jack PUNCHES HIMSELF in the nose. Blood starts to trickle down. He punches himself in the jaw, harder. He throws himself back, acting as if the force of the punch knocked him. His back SLAMS against a framed painting and SHATTERS the glass. He and the frame and the glass and the painting fall to the floor.

I Am Joe's Smirking Revenge.

Please don't hit me again. Please.

Jack gets back to his feet and punches himself in the stomach, then punches himself in the jaw again. He reels backwards and falls into a hanging shelf, ripping it off the wall, sending it's contents flying. He falls to the floor again.

For some reason, I thought of my first fight -- with Tyler.

Jack crawls along the carpet toward Boss, dripping blood. He tries to keep up the act, but he sporadically GIGGLES. He grabs Boss's leg.

Please...give me the paychecks like I asked for. You won't see me again. You won't have any trouble.

Jack climbs up Boss's leg. Boss, aghast, tries to shake him off, and, in doing so, stumbles back in to his desk, knocking off photos, stacks of paper, paperweights.

Under and behind and inside everything this man took for granted, something horrible had been growing.

Jack crawls up high enough to grab Boss's belt and hoist himself up further. He's getting blood all over the Boss's clothes. Jack SMUDGES blood from his face onto the knuckles of both Boss's hands. The horrified man SCREAMS.

And right then, at our most excellent moment, security guards decided to walk in.

Two SECURITY GUARDS come inside and gape at the sight. Behind them stands a crowd of curious workers, also taking in the sight.

JACK (gurgling blood)
Please don't hit me again.

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